Sunshine and Rainbows

rainbow

I was taking inventory and skimming through the last few blog entries and almost depressed myself. “What a downer,” I thought, and was not pleased at the subliminal tone I felt I was portraying.  Not because what I’ve written isn’t true or honest, but because the mood of these entries struck me as sad, bleak and foreboding.

That was never my intent, you see. I want to convey my reality honestly, and not pull any punches in describing how hard and frustrating dealing with a disability can be. However, there is a yang to every ying, so I also wanted to convey that there has been a healthy portion of good that has been served with the MS. I saw that I may have strayed from that the last several weeks. My bad.

Now you may think, what good could possibly come with dealing with a condition that has turned out to be a lifetime sentence?  The answer is plenty, but you have to look for it because they are often little things, and they are often fleeting.

What has come through loud and clear in the ten years I’ve dealt with this, is that most people are good, kind and caring. That may be hard to believe given the events that have taken place across the globe and in our country, and the general mean-spirited vibe you get from watching and reading the news, or surveying our political landscape. I don’t deny that exists, but I believe it masks the true nature of the human spirit that I have personally experienced and witnessed through frequent acts of kindness and empathy.

These shine through in small gestures, like people opening doors when they seem me coming, or offering to help carry things if they see I’m struggling. We live in a very impatient world, where we get annoyed if our computers don’t boot up immediately, or if something we are streaming takes a few extra seconds. But people I’ve encountered don’t seem to mind waiting at the door for as long as a minute to open it for me when they see me limping their way, or offering an open seat on a crowded subway when it becomes available, even through they may have been standing longer than I have. And these are complete strangers.

Colleagues have taken it upon themselves a number of times to stand in long buffet lines to gather a plate of food and walk it to my desk without being asked (probably because they know I won’t) so I would haven’t to negotiate that distance or balance a tray of food in one hand and my cane in the other.

There are more examples I could provide, but you get the point. These small acts of random kindness, which occur almost daily, have renewed my faith in people and re-emphasized what I have always believed: despite our differences, people are generally good and kind in spirit.

The ironic thing is that, in all likelihood, this type of activity has always existed within my orbit, but I was too engrossed in something else to care. Now that I have to be aware of everyone and everything around me, it is as obvious as the nose on my face.

It’s a pity it took something like MS for me to appreciate it.

 

 

Author: Steve Markesich

I am loving husband, a doting father, a Red Sox fanatic, an aspiring novelist and MS advocate. Feel free to check out my stevemarkesich.com web site.

13 thoughts on “Sunshine and Rainbows”

  1. I suppose it is all a perspective. Perhaps because I know and admire your “can do” attitude, your posts have never struck me as sad, bleak, etc. I appreciated the honesty and truthfulness. It is so interesting when something tragic happens, or we learn of an illness, we always say “you will be in our thoughts and prayers”. We all mean it, but rarely spend any time thinking about the realities of dealing with said illness. Your posts are honest, educational, but never seem to be self-serving.

    Keep writing my friend, you have a gift.

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  3. I was thinking about you today. Yes I know that sounds random. but I was. I was thinking about the last post of yours that I had read and was wondering how you were. I think you are a great writer, and I really like your attitude. Now I am finally “following” so that should be better. I hope all is well with you 🙂

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    1. I appreciate the kind words. If I’m not mistaken I’m following you as well. I’m okay, really. The fact that I don’t have to deal with pain like a lot of others is a godsend. I don’t think I’d be so upbeat otherwise. My main issue is mobility, so I tale my time, plod along and refuse to give in.

      I’m glad you enjoy the writing, I have actually written a novel that I am trying to get published. The main character is sleepwalking through like due to a tragic event in his past, then develops MS. Dealing with the condition forces him to reconcile his past and connect with someone he has avoided for years, and during this journey he finds hope, love and redemption. The only autobiographical part of it is the MS, the first flare and the progressive deterioration. I have an agent and am hoping we can get a publisher in the next few month. Keep your fingers crossed.

      How are things with you? How long have you had MS?

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  5. Pingback: Advice from Tom … Get it Checked – MSich Chronicles

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